Can't help myself
by fataorgana
Summary: This story takes place after 3.09, when Damon and Elena's conversation is interrupted by a call from Katherine. This is what happens afterward.


_**Can't help myself**_

_This story takes place after 3.09, when Damon and Elena's conversation is interrupted by a call from Katherine. This is what happens afterward._

Elena watches Damon as he talks to Katherine. She's called to say goodbye, and his face is tense as he listens.

Elena wonders if his discomfort is because of what Katherine is saying to him, or if it's because of that strangely intense moment they've had just before the phone rang and interrupted.

Telling Damon that they would, if it came down to it, "let Stefan go" had been something Elena had been thinking about for awhile. She had wanted to wait until the right moment to bring it up, and seized it when the moment presented itself.

Only she hadn't planned on touching him. Damon had been rather adverse towards her lately. Usually he always took advantage of every opportunity he could to touch her, and she wonders what's changed.

Deep down, Elena knows why this bothers her so much. She needs him, and he needs her.

Somehow his touch is a reassurance of this.

_Maybe he doesn't need me anymore. Maybe he's getting sick of me. Maybe Stefan was the only thing holding us together. _

Her heart clenches painfully. It hurts her to think of these things. She's already lost Stefan and loosing Damon is something she can't bare to think about.

Elena glanced at Damon, who was pacing by the fire with a drink in one hand and the phone in the other.

As she watches, he said goodbye in a clipped voice and snaps the phone shut.

He was upset. Even though he had turned his back to her, she could tell by the stillness of his body.

Elena slowly got up from the couch and padded softly across the room to stand next to him at the fireplace.

The flames danced across his face, casting light and shadows across his eyes, and his lips...

Elena tore her gaze away from his mouth. _Concentrate._

"Damon" she began. "You know that I don't want to give up. Stefan has been gone for a year now, and it been... hard." She laughs softly at this absurd understatement.

"Now that he has his humanity back, it's his choice. Damon, he hasn't tried to contact us. You know what he said. He doesn't want us to want him back. And he hasn't for awhile now."

She watches him carefully, searching his face for any reaction, and emotion. With Damon, it was so hard to tell, and he hid his feelings well.

When he wanted to.

His face was impassive as he stared straight ahead. He hadn't looked at her yet. Elena takes a deep breath and continues.

"I care about him, and you know that. We both do, but... he hasn't come back. He doesn't want to. And that's why... that's why we'll have to let him go. She turns to him and takes his hand.

Damon turns to face her, and suddenly Elena feels like she can't breathe, He's so beautiful, standing there looking at her with vulnerability in his eyes.

"We have each other now." Elena lifts a hand to his face and brushes his jawline with the back of her fingers.

His eyes widen at her touch, and suddenly the air in the room seems to disappear and all Elena could think about was Damon. She was consumed with the closeness of him. Every fiber in her body was aware of him.

All she could think was that in this moment, all that mattered was the two of them. Together. How was it she felt this way whenever she was near him?

"Damon..." Elena whispers his name softly, and her voice is taut with emotion. "Damon, I need you. I can't loose you."

Her heartbeat quickens and she lowers her gaze. His hands are on her arms, and he glides them down to her waist before pulling her closer. His hand his under her chin, and as he lifts her face to his, _Elena knew_.

_She should have known all this time_. Elena was in love with him. With Damon, Stefan's brother, the vampire who had fallen for her and had waited for her. The beautiful, incredible vampire who had patiently waited beside her while she loved his brother.

He was so volatile, he loved so deeply and passionately that it frightened her.

Damon's face us so close to hers that she can feel his breathe.

"What did you just say?" he asks quietly.

"I need you, Damon" she whispers and in that instant his mouth crashes down on hers and she looses all sense of time. Her hands come up to entangle in his hair, and she kissing him as if she never intends to let go, kissing him deeply with need.

Elena can't think. All that matters is this moment right now. She was in Damon's arms, where she belonged.

Damon is assaulting her mouth with a passion that takes her breath away, and she gasps when he touches her tongue to hers. He pulls away slightly and pushes a strand of hair out of her eyes, his gaze intense and slightly aroused.

Elena feels as if her heart might burst. She has to tell him how she feels. She's terrified, and she closes her eyes as she says "Damon, I have something to tell you. That I love you. I've loved you for a long time, and I can't help myself."

She dares a glance at him. His lips part as an incredulous look comes over his face.

"You love me?" His blue eyes focus on hers and a look of pure joy and love is in them.

It tears at her hear. Elena loves him so much it literally hurt.

She pulls him closer and settles her mouth over his. She sighs into his mouth, and they press closer to each other, and somehow Elena knew that it would never be close enough.


End file.
